Pick Up Lines

(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Person: What are you doing?!?!? You: Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. Person: WHAT?!?!? You: Well it has to be illegal to look that good!

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You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

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Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.

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When God made you, he was showing off.

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(Bump into someone) If I knew how hot you were I would have grabbed your ass instead of bumping into you.

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Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?

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Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.

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Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.

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My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.

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If all the stars in the sky were summed, not even words that many times stronger than "beautiful" could ever be used to describe you.

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You're so hot, I bet you could light a candel at 10 paces.

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How much did it cost? (What?) The surgery that made you so hot!

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Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.

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If you were a laser gun, you'd be set on stunning.

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You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porshe.

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The drink: $6. The room: $100. The night with you?: Priceless.

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Listen to this: my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?

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You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!

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If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

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Have you seen my enormous jar of "Penis Reducing Cream"?

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You know at this angle as the lights hit your eyes [start fixing hair] I can see myself and I look great." Then smile, and sheepishly say "just kidding."

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If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.

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You wet? I'd bet you are after looking at me.

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You're so fine, I'd suck your daddy's dick just to get some of where that came from.

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I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".

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I had your sister last year, she sucked. Wanna defend your family honor?

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Hey baby, you've got somthing on your butt: my eyes.

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This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.

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Are those your breasts or are they Siamese Watermelons?

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I don't know you, but I think I love you already.

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You look beautiful today, just like every other day.

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Walk up and say, "Yes?" "What?" "Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I'm the finest thing you have seen all night."

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Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.

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You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

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Ok, quick, you go in the toilets and get me some condoms and meet me back here in five minutes... In the meantime I'll go and get you some breath mints...

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You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 30.

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Scientists call me a medical miracle.

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[You] Here are my keys [Other] Why? [You] Here's the key to my house, my car,...and my heart.

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You had better direct that beauty and femininity somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.

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Pardon me, I don't mean to make a pass, but you must be leavin' the country if you're packin' that much ass.

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Why is it that every time you are around, my pants feel tighter?

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When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

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Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.

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Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.

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Fat Penguin. WHAT? I just thought I'd say something to break the ice.

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You know that I think about you only twice a day? Once when my eyes are open, and once when they are closed.

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You're so flat, I don't know if you're walking forwareds or backwards.

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Two words explain me when I'm not with you. Jergens Lotion.

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Baby, you must be a slut because you give out more ass than a donkey dealership.

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How much do you cost? I've got a dollar, how much change would I get back?

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If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...

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Is that a fox on your shoulder, or am I seeing double?

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Will you be my derivative? I'll be the area under your curves.

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If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

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Do you like pool, cause I've got the balls if you've got the rack. (or vice versa)

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Damn, Sugar, settle down. I'm diabetic.

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You need $20 and a friend. Give friend the $20. Walk up to target. Friend says, "You're right. Those are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." Hands you the $20 and walks away.

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So last night I had the same dream over and over - always the same thing, but in a different location every time. I kept dreaming that I was asking you out, but every time before you answered, I woke up, and I'm dying to know what your answer was.

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Tonight, you know you will be sitting on your bed and you will be holding your pillow close to your chest and wish it were me pressing against your chest.

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From across the bare you looked a little on the heavy side, but as you got closer I noticed you were ugly too!

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If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.

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(If s/he is looking at you)You know, my mother always told me it was impolite to stare... so what do you say we dance?

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Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!

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See these keys? Ya like em? I wish I had the one to your heart.

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Excuse me I have a problem and I wonder if you can help me? (O.K. I'll see what I can do. What is your problem?) I have every S.T.D. in the book except for one and I think you can give it to me!

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Hey baby. I'm single. Do you believe that shit?

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Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

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Is that shirt Camel Skin? 'Cause I'm checkin' out your humps!

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You could make a glass eye cry...

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I think that your attractive and simply amazing from what I've seen so far. Can I get your number and meet your personality.

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All the other girls are just rough Drafts .... but i think you are the FINAL COPY!!

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Are you a hands-on-learner? Because I am, and I'd like to learn about you...

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Way to go God!!!

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If God had a refrigerator, a picture of you would be on it.

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Your voice sounds like sandpaper grated over a cheese grater.

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I bet your name is Jesus, because you look like you came from heaven!

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You don't look too bad, I'm guessing you only got hit once in the face with that sack of nickels, right?

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Bitch, give me some of that disease!

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You look so hot that I could cook rice on you!

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You're hotter than donut grease.

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You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

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I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don’t need it after all.

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A thousand painters working for a thousand years could not create a beauty that equals you.

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Did you know its a felony in this state to look that good, but if you turn around I'll let you off with a warning.

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If you were on hotornot.com, I would give you a ten.

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There are only two beautiful girls in the world, and you are both of them.

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Your good looks don't intimidate me. (Walk away)

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If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.

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Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl.

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Baby, you're so hot, you make the North Pole look like the equator.

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You're so hot, I'd better smother you with my body before you burst into flame!